I have a few wishes — Here Goes One.
I need this more. Time by myself at coffee shops and restaurants and bars writing, checking up on myself and being more self-aware. I want to write as a hobby, not with a carrot attached at the end of it. I wish to stay in tune with my creative self. Yes, if I want to have a glass of wine every now and then, then sure. If I want to relax at a coffee shop by myself, then sure. If I want to exercise, so be it. I need to stop expecting so much out of myself and just do things that make me grateful to be alive. If writing on Medium can help me stay aware of my inner workings and feelings: bravo. If I can spend some time by myself and be accustomed to my feelings no matter how turbulent: beautiful.
I have seen firsthand the benefits of being okay in my own company, writing away. I have seen how beneficial it is in terms of my interactions with others. Writing has helped me with my communication skills beautifully. Not everything needs to have a productivity checkmark or a dollar amount attached to it. I know I live in a capitalistic society where everything is measured in terms of material results. However, I personally feel it would be much better to tell that society to f**k off and enjoy life according to my own terms. Perhaps I could live in my imagination and just be able to write and get lost in the music by myself.
As I look at the sunrise, I realize how much I will miss these solitary nights as soon as I get into the hustle and bustle of the new day. To be able to write is a sacred task only for the chosen few. Can I even wish for it? Only time will tell.
